The Confessions

"I have been hiding the true extent of my debt from my family for four years. The number is significant. I have managed it alone because I am too ashamed to ask for help from people who would give it without question. The loneliness of carrying it is worse than the debt itself."

"I sold something online describing it as being in excellent condition. It was not in excellent condition. I packaged it carefully to obscure the damage. The buyer left no review. I have sold nothing online since and I do not intend to."

"I split a bill unevenly at a dinner once, in my own favour, knowing my friend had not been paying attention. It was only twelve pounds. I do not know why I did it. We have had hundreds of dinners since and I have always been scrupulously fair. That one time still bothers me."

"I lent money to a friend knowing I needed it back within six months. When six months came I told them there was no rush. I genuinely could not face the conversation. I spent the next year quietly struggling while they spent the money on a holiday."

"My grandmother left me money in her will and I have never told my siblings how much. It was unequal and I did not want the conversation. They assume it was the same for everyone. I have used the money to build a life I could not have built otherwise."

"I have a savings account my husband does not know about. Not for anything sinister. Just because having money that is purely mine makes me feel safe in a way I cannot fully explain. But the secrecy feels wrong and I do not know how to introduce it after six years."

"I was given too much change in a shop once. A significant amount, nearly thirty pounds. I noticed immediately and walked out. I have never gone back to that shop since, partly from shame and partly because I do not want to return the money."

"I accidentally underpaid my taxes one year and when I noticed I said nothing and hoped it would not be picked up. It was not picked up. That was seven years ago and every January when my tax return is due I feel sick with a specific kind of guilt."

"I told my parents my business was going well for two years while it was slowly failing. I did not want them to worry. By the time I admitted the truth I had lost everything. They were not angry. They were sad they had not been able to help sooner. That was worse than anger."

"I donated to a charity publicly at a work fundraiser and claimed gift aid I was not eligible for. A small thing in the grand scheme. But I presented myself as generous while technically being dishonest. That combination of vanity and dishonesty is not something I am proud of."